Medical Update – 22-09-21

Who wants to hear about the Viagra?  Hee Hee.”  From the deafening silence it is obvious no-one wanted to hear.  Fair enough.

It is six weeks with no meds.  Physically and mentally I feel no difference.  Is that good or bad, I don’t know.

Mentally?  I do not feel any more depressed or purposeless than I did while taking the happy pills.  I am sure Covid lockdown doesn’t help.  The ‘stay at home’ restrictions play right into my plan to surrender to the void.  The perfect storm to create, encourage and support mental instability.

Physically?  There are no apparent external manifestations of my inner afflictions.  I can still feel all my extremities, I think.  I am sure I am not imagining the feedback from wiggling my toes or scratching my heels.  But what about the amputee who can still feel their whole limb years after it has been removed?  Maybe my toes have already died and I haven’t noticed the smell yet.  I always have had a problem accepting reality when it doesn’t match my vision of it.

Two more weeks until I get my second Covid jab.  Then I will have my blood and urine tests and see the doctor.  We will have a nice discussion about my meds, why I need them and how I can tell if they are working.  I still want to reintroduce them to my being, one at a time.

Physically? addendum.  I infrequently but regularly experience the sensation of my alternate self moving through the same space I occupy.  It is an interesting experience feeling my inner self move slightly to left or right and then instantly moving to feel the space I left behind.  It isn’t dizziness.  It’s more like standing on a ship’s deck, rolling slightly left and then rocking back to my original position.  Hence the reason it took me a little longer than it should to recognise the earthquake.

Who says my life is boring?

1 Comment

  1. Kerry14/10/2021

    An interesting experiment. I’m all for it.


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